I find it extrememly hard to write my first essay as I had many blockades, mostly surfacing in my head of course. I had a plethora of topics I wanted to write about but when it came to sticking to just one I was like a kid in a a Bakery- lacking in focus and decisions.
I kept beginning a topic and then throwing it away. I was like the sterotypical writer romanticed in the Hollywood movies, throwing her half written stories in the garbage. My head was spiining from the lack follow through next my bed. I just wanted to have one topic that made me so passionate that I could not stop ranting "The truth". So, there I was putting to much pressure on myself; and there it was.
That defines the problem, the sterotypical scorned writer that I am, I put to much pressure on myself when it is for some form of publication or grading. Instead of just letting it come from flow and autonomous being I am in my head. That is when my worst writing comes out. I am a creative free flow writer and my draft sucks because of the amout of thought I put into it. I was focing on the rhetoric, the concept..blah blah blah.... I was not just being.
So, for my next piece I think I will just write to write and see what comes out and then do the polishing. No headiness, no perfection, no no no!!!
Again I have about ten ideas of what to write about. I was thinking about seriously writing about my recent breakup and how life changing it was but that is too drag for me. So I might right about a very intimate and secretive relationship I had with a women for years. It is personal and I don't want to be judged for writing it but it what has been on my mind. Yep, that's what it's gonna be.
Nuisance Tripping
9 months ago
3 comments:
Ok. Clearly, your decision intrigues me. I think you should write about what it was that you decided on. If its too personal then modify it, just let us know that you did. Don't play gotcha like O'brien did. In anycase, if thats what you want to write about, think about what it is concept behind the story. Im sure the story would be fascinating but you've got to figure out what you're trying to say... I'm looking forward to what you eventually decide on. :)
I think it would be really cool if you wrote about writing; everything you mentioned about how you feel about yourself as a writer, how the writing process works for you, etc.
It could also be really interesting if you structured the essay in a way that makes the essay itself look like a manuscript or a draft, with strikethroughs and stuff like that.
It'll be like a meta-essay, or meta-writing, or meta-meta (because that's a good word to use, "meta").
My point is, write about writing, within your writing.
I remembered you mentioned an affiar you had and I dont know if this is story kind of behind it.. but I think its great because not many people come out from behind "what people are gunna think" and tell their story. screw it. tell it. after all, we are here for input and suggestions we arent judging or in fact, grading. its up to the higher lady,Chandler, who I think personally will love it because whtn you write you keep the reader intrigued.
I think reading it will open peoples minds and hey, if they dont like it,they dont hafta read it right? I think this is going to come easy to you because it is a topic you know what you wanna say. The focus can be how you had to keep this secret and how hard it was for you. I really cant wait to read it and remember those who judge are only really judging themselves.
:)
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